Suicidal ideation is also consistent with individuals who see no escape from their eating disorder.īesides behavior, there are bodily changes to observe, as well, such as hair loss and lack of menstruation. Compulsive behaviors go beyond exercise, as well, as she becomes wedded to her meal plan and diet regimens. Hyperactivity is also normal, as Katie compulsively exercises to compensate for what she perceives to be eating failures. First, her behavior is consistent with classic markers for anorexia, such as binge eating, vomiting (attempted), and excessive dieting. Many of the symptoms of anorexia that Katie experiences are shared by many others. She continues with therapy, eventually celebrating a tolerable, if not ideal, relationship with food. Survival reinvigorates her desire to get well. Embarrassed and confused over her behavior, she loses friends and attempts suicide. As she battles symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, Katie starts to binge eat. Although headed in a positive direction, her relationship with an abusive therapist curbs her progress. Physicians advise that she stay home from school while maintaining a strict meal plan. Unfortunately, her condition worsens to the point that her life is threatened. First, she tries family therapy and individual counseling. In the following pages, Katie passes through several cycles of recovery and relapse. Before long, her desire for control produces a severe eating disorder-one over which she has lost control. These behaviors are only reinforced by Katie’s pleasure over the resultant weight-loss.

Now, Katie is not only intentional about how she eats, but what she eats, and when, and how much. Upset with her self-image and distraught over being bullied at school, Katie once again tries to take matters into her own hands. These rituals are manageable until adolescence results in bodily changes. An intense desire for control compels her to develop food-related rituals, such as counting the number of times she chews. This is where Katie’s strained relationship with food begins.Īlthough many children can be considered “picky eaters,” Katie’s relationship to food is different. The reader then meets a very young version of Katie who is sitting at the dinner table poking and prodding at her food. Lighter than my Shadow opens with an adult Katie Green putting pen to paper, indicating her intention to translate her traumatic childhood to the comic’s page. Inside Out, Portrait of an Eating Disorder.

Lighter than my shadow by katie green